Lost
by bleedforyou
Summary: "Honestly, he really just wanted him again. For the man to hug him and kiss him and tell him everything was going to be okay."... slash. flangst. ewe. sexual suggestion.


Title: Lost  
Author: bleedforyou1  
Pairing: Harry/Draco  
Rating: PG-13  
Beta: vanessawolfie  
Summary:"Honestly, he really just wanted him again. For the man to hug him and kiss him and tell him everything was going to be okay."  
Word count: 1,627  
Warnings: slash. a bit of angst. fluff.  
Note: Inspired by Lost by Michael Buble. One of my favorite songs ever. 

"Malfoy, are you okay?"

Five months, two weeks and three days. 4,008 hours without him.

Draco hadn't been okay for 4,008 hours.

"I'm fine," Draco replied, holding his chin high as he paid for his monthly hairstylist appointment. "If you'll excuse me, Andrew, I must get back home. The cat needs feeding; letters to write, work to do…You know how it is."

"Okay, Draco. It's just—you know, every month you come in here, looking so upset," Andrew shrugged. "I wondered if it's because of Ha—"

"I'm fine," Draco repeated, this time coldly. He put down all the galleons needed and grabbed his cloak, wrapping it tightly around him as he turned on his heel and left the hair shop.

"Wait, Draco!" Draco turned around in a huff, seeing Andrew come out of his shop in a hurry. "I just…here. Call me, if you need anything, okay? Anything. A date, even."

Draco gritted his teeth as he took the man's card. There was a time—before him, of course—when he had thought Andrew was so hot. He would've jumped at the chance to go out with him. But since he came into the picture, every other man in the world faded to the background.

"Right. Thanks," Draco said before Apparating away, leaving Andrew on the street.

Draco stumbled slightly as he Apparated into the foyer. He wasn't used to Apparating back to the Manor. He hadn't lived here in years, considering he had simply moved in with Ha—

With a quick shake of his head, Draco walked over to the kitchen. Why the hell am I thinking of him? Draco thought, pulling out his cranberry juice.

"We're over," Draco said, pouring out the juice in a wine glass and then mixing in some Vodka. "I'm over it. He's gone—done. Just a part of my life. Moving on is the best part, right? New men out there. Time to explore my sexual appetite. Maybe I'll go out dancing like I used to. I'm still young—I could pick up some men—maybe even have a threesome."

Even as he talked over it with himself, he made his way over to his bedroom with the whole bottle of the vodka, where he snuggled into bed with his cloak and gloves and boots on, and had a good long cry. Honestly, he really just wanted him again. For the man to hug him and kiss him and tell him everything was going to be okay.

Waking up the next morning with a headache, Draco sighed and turned over. Suddenly, an arm wrapped around his body and Draco smiled softly, cuddling closer to the warmth.

Wait a second…Draco gasped, opening his eyes in shock. His eyes met a certain green hue that he'd never forget, no matter how long he'd gone without seeing them.

"Harry?" Draco choked out. "Wha—what's going on? Why are you in my bed? Oh Merlin! Why are you naked?" Draco looked down in horror as he realized Harry was wearing only pants, while Draco was still in his cloak, gloves and outfit from yesterday.

Harry sat up slowly, watching Draco with those fucking gorgeous green eyes of his. "Draco…this is my bed. How did you get here?"

"I—" Draco gasped in sudden realization. "You KIDNAPPED me? This is really low, Harry!"

"What?" Harry slurred, shaking his head. He always was really slow in the mornings. Draco felt kinda bad for yelling at him so early in the day.

"I didn't kidnap you!" Harry said, looking around. "I was asleep and then now I'm awake, and you—you were in my bed? I cuddled with you? And now I'm…wait, what?"

"Oh Merlin," Draco put his head in his hands, the familiarity of their old bedroom getting to him. "I think I Apparated here last night."

"You did?" Harry asked, with that soft, endearing voice that always melted Draco. "Is everything okay? Are you hurt?"

Draco looked up, at his boyfriend. Ahem, ex-boyfriend.

"I…in my mind I thought about coming by to say…um, I dunno. I guess I got so drunk—I couldn't control it."

"Draco," Harry gasped, coming closer and curling his limbs around Draco's body exactly like he used to. "That's really dangerous! What if you'd splinched yourself? What if I'd lost—"

Harry stopped, but Draco knew what he was about to say. What if I'd lost you?

"You don't have to worry about that anymore, huh Potter?" Draco said roughly, standing up from the bed in a woozy stance. He was still dizzy from the Vodka last night.

"Draco, wait," Harry said quickly, rushing to get out of bed. "You can't go anywhere until you've fully sobered up—"

"I'm fine," Draco growled. "Where is my wand?"

"Er…I dunno." Harry suddenly made a dive to his left and Draco watched as he grabbed Draco's wand and hid it under the bed.

"Okay. Like I didn't just see that? You idiot." Draco leaned down to grab his wand, but was stopped by Harry's arms.

"No. Friends don't let their friends Apparate drunk, remember?"

"WE ARE NOT FRIENDS!" Draco screamed, his headache worsening.

Harry let go of him in shock. "Draco…just because we're not going out anymore doesn't mean we can't be friends…"

"I don't fucking want to be your friend, Potter," Draco spat out. "Give me my wand. Now."

"Still just as demanding as ever, huh?" Harry crossed his arms.

"You should know—you were with me for three years."

"Three years, two months and 12 days. I know."

They stood in silence, both flushed with anger and hurt.

"Too bad we screwed it up," Draco rolled his eyes, sinking down on the bed. Their bed. Where they used to fuck, cuddle, read, eat, play, argue, talk, snog—Merlin.

"I know…" Harry sighed, sitting down next to him. "The constant fighting, bickering…it was getting too much."

"You were always at work," Draco said through gritted teeth. He remembered falling asleepand waking up without Harry some nights.

"You barely ever told me you loved me," Harry responded angrily. Draco winced—that had been his biggest problem.

"You always forgot my birthday. And Mother's. And everyone else's."

"You never cared about my problems, only your own."

"I hated your friends," Draco rolled his eyes.

"I hated yours too."

Draco turned to Harry, saw the familiar look of pure love shining on his face and just couldn't resist. Their lips met in a harsh hunger that Draco only remembered experiencing once before—their first kiss, in the middle of a corridor back at Hogwarts in 8th year.

"Draco," Harry moaned against his lips, and it made tears come to Draco's eyes. Merlin, he swore he'd give anything in the entire world to hear Harry moan his name again. Anything. "Draco?"

Harry pulled back as he felt—and tasted—the salty tears on Draco's cheeks. "Baby, what's wrong?"

"I…everything is wrong!" Draco cried, soft sobs clogging his throat. "Me, you, this. We broke up—we shouldn't be doing this. I shouldn't be here. But… but…"

"But what, love?" Harry said softly, his eyes all shiny and comforting and full of love. Like they had been since the first night they'd made love.

"I shouldn't be here, but…this is the only place in the world I want to be."

He leaned in, capturing Harry's lips in a kiss full of all the hurt and sorrow that he had felt in the last five months. He wanted to share that pain with Harry, and make sure that Harryknew that Draco wasn't surviving so well without him. How lost Draco felt without him.

"I never stopped," Draco whispered miserably as Harry let go again to brush his fingers on Draco's cheeks. "I never stopped loving you, Harry Potter. I will never stop, until the day I die."

"That's all I ever wanted to hear, Draco," Harry shook his head. "I said it every damn day, and you couldn't be arsed to say it even when I begged you."

"I…I'm not good with that kind of romantic stuff—I told you that," Draco said, frustrated by his emotions. He lied back in bed, and Harry leaned over him.

"Now that training is over, I don't work night shifts anymore. I'm home by seven every day," Harry said softly, brushing Draco's hair back.

Draco stared at him—he was attempting to solve their problems. Well, Draco couldn't be upstaged, of course.

"I can say 'I love you'. You know…more often."

"I'll buy one of those annoying screaming planners that'll remind me of everyone's birthdays," Harry chuckled.

"I'll start listening. About your problems."

"I suppose…well, maybe we'll start dealing with each other's friends better."

"Maybe."

"Hopefully?"

"Eventually."

They lied there and talked, the rest of the day—not shagging or anything else—just discussed their problems and feelings, because honestly, in the three years they had been together, they had never done it. It felt invigorating and fresh, and Draco felt his heart thawing.

"I…I want to try again," Harry whispered into Draco's ear, curling his fingers through Draco's hair.

"Good, because I'm not letting go of you ever again."

"I don't want to be let go of."

"Harry," Draco reached over and hugged him, gripping him tight. Harry's smell was still the same—that musky delicious smell that drove Draco crazy. "I love you."

"Three times in one day? Don't I feel lucky," Harry teased, but he gripped him just as tight.

"Shut up, you sod."

"Prat."

"Jerk."

"Love you too," Harry laughed, hugging Draco closer.

Draco made a vow with himself that day—now that he knew what it was like to be without Harry, he'd never make the mistake of leaving ever again.


End file.
